We’ve all had them. The sales pitch, political recording, or the request to take a short survey. They usually come as you are rushing to get dinner on the table or just about to put the fork in your mouth, right? Lately, it seems to me, I am getting so many more calls than before, in spite of being on the “no call,” “no email,” “no text,” “no fax” and “no bother me” lists. To add insult to injury, many are now done by robots. They don’t even have the decency to have a live person call to bother me! I have obeyed their instructions to press number three to request removal from future calls, to no avail. So, I have had to take matters into my own hands. Here are some surefire tactics to stop the calls:
Caller: Hello, is the decision-maker home?
Me: Yes, this is she and she says she is not interested in anything you are selling unless it’s sex with a hot, young stud.
Caller: Click (and they probably took my phone number off the list)
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Caller (recording): You have been selected to receive a special interest rate on your mortgage. Press 1 to hear more about it.
Me: I press 1 until a person comes on the line, then say: Can you give me a special rate to repay my mortgage? My house burned down 4 months ago.
Caller: Click
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Caller: We would like to service your septic tank. What would be a good time to come by and inspect it?
Me: Do you do outhouses? Our septic system failed and we couldn’t afford to install a new one, so we are using an outhouse in the yard.
Caller: Click
See how easy it is? All you have to do is act crazy and they will take you off their list. It really works. Seriously.
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