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Posts Tagged ‘Thanksgiving’


My cousin’s favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, and we shared the holiday with her and her husband for many years. This year, she was in the midst of packing to move and I wasn’t travelling, so we endeavored to have Thanksgiving at our house, even though I wouldn’t be able to assist in preparations. Our family, cousins and sister’s family chipped in on the cooking and cleanup to make a beautiful Thanksgiving feast. And to my utter delight, I was able to take my first bites of food beginning that week. Thanksgiving was particularly poignant as we all were so grateful for my survival and beginning recovery. Recovery began and proceeded, marked by small advances through December and January. One drain out; then another. First shower. First food after months of IV feeding. Weight gain (I had lost 15 lbs.) Walking further. Driving. Pain lessening. I scheduled the prophylactic mastectomy for June, sure I would be well enough to have the next surgery in seven months.

To be continued . . . . . .

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This Thanksgiving was the first I have spent without my older son, since he was born. We all missed him so much, and were envious of those with whom he spent it, in LA, at his new home, as an adult. “What?” I said. “You are not coming home for Thanksgiving?” We offered to pay for the flight. He even (at his own expense), came to Boston to visit his friends only 2 weeks before. I couldn’t understand how he would not be home for Thanksgiving.

Thanks to the grace of Skyype, we at least had a face-to-face from my cousins’ house, where we were on Thanksgiving. He was making one of his killer desserts, Mine, a feeble looking version of something similar, tasted good but had to be aesthetically doctored with a dollop of whipped cream and raspberries, to pass for gourmet.

My son’s friends gathered, all transplants from home and freshly minted graduates, at their new home in LA. I know this time is important for him to separate and become the man he needs to be. I KNOW this, but why does my heart feel so empty anyway?  I tried to maintain my cool and tried to turn intellectual understanding into happiness, but it still felt so profoundly sad to think he doesn’t need me anymore.

But wait! He called me on Sunday to ask for advice about a food processor, then again to tell me he found a great holiday deal on the one I recommended. He called again yesterday to get my take on a health related question. I guess you never really stop needing your mother. The way you need her may change, but she will always have some wisdom to impart.

I feel so much better now.

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